Today this post is very personal but I hope, I wish, that some of our readers feel identified with it. I hope it is that way. I want to tell you that I am proud of my son's father, although he is not my partner.
The separation, when there are children, is doubly painful and there are often differences in terms of parenting and the vital changes that motherhood and fatherhood brings. Possibly, after that, it is impossible to expect that the two people who one day shared their life can be vibrating again in perfect harmony, although, let's admit it, this situation does not occur in couples who are always together. But it is not impossible, but desirable, for them to grow, mature, share and communicate, in order to become parents in a shared and harmonious way.
And I wanted to tell you. For us it is a vital enriching experience, we have both continued, after separation, focused on the well-being of our son, in learning, each at his own pace, to be parents not only without physical violence, but also without using authority in a manner autocratic, without falling into emotional blackmail, without letting tensions overflow and discharge into the child.
The reasons why a couple walks away are as different as each of us is. And it takes time to lick the wounds, rediscover ourselves, understand the other and forgive the mistakes that both have made. It takes time to overcome the grief, regrets and damage suffered and done.
Sometimes people who separate follow divergent paths and harm themselves, harm children and get stuck in positions that will face them forever, especially if their ideas about parenting, education and values lead to incompatible paths.
But my message is that this is not always the case, the person we love one day surely has within him that strength of which we fall in love and also wishes the best for our common child. We will not fall in love again, but if we can recover the love, respect and pride for to have chosen to be parents in common.
My son's father has grown a lot after we separated, he has made his own itinerary. He is firmly committed to respectful and free education, he knows how to recognize those parenting mistakes that we all have to overcome so as not to repeat them.
Not everything is perfect, obviously, there are disagreements and sometimes, as happens in all couples are together or not, sometimes we will be exasperated by the other. But there is respect, love, mutual help, communication and I feel proud of my son's father even if we are not a couple. And I hope that those who are going through the painful trance of the breakup of a couple with common children can believe and trust that what I tell you is possible. And I encourage you to work to achieve it.
In Babies and more | Divorce and children, We have to talk, how to avoid the damages of divorce
