"You'll do well," and other advice I give as a mother to my best pregnant friend

One of my best friends is pregnant for the first time. We have known each other for years, we have a very special relationship and we have always advised each other in the various situations that life has raised.

But I know what it is now, just a few weeks after meeting her baby, when she feels more frightened and vulnerable: "Will I be a good mother?", "Will I know how to understand my baby?", "Will I live up to the circumstances?". All these questions were asked the other day made a sea of ​​doubts, and these were my advice.

1. "You will do well"

I understand your preocupation. I know you're scared, overwhelmed and nervous. In a few days you will have your baby with you and the doubt about whether you will be a good mother constantly plans on your head.

But calm down, friend, you will do well. You are the best mother your baby can have: with its imperfections, with its wonderful things, and with its bad and good days. Just let yourself be guided by the unconditional love towards your son that will be born from the deepest part of your being at the same moment that your eyes meet for the first time.

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2. "Obey your instinct and listen to your baby"

Probably already are tired of listening to maternity and parenting advice... and that your baby is not yet born! You should know, my friend, that at the same moment that your child arrives in the world, everyone around you will feel empowered to comment, judge and even criticize.

"Do not take him in arms that you will spoil"; "Don't sleep with him, or you won't get him out of your bed until he goes to college"; "Let him cry, or he'll end up bullfighting"; "Take him to the nursery to socialize"; "Do not give him more tit, he is using you as a pacifier" ...

Faced with this type of comment try to make deaf ears and focus only on you and your baby. Our mother's instinct is stronger than all the opinions that surround us, but we must know how to listen to it and avoid being silenced by the voices outside ...

3. "Mark your own rules"

With the arrival in the world of a baby, a mother, a father, some grandparents, some uncles, some proud friends are born ... Everyone will want to visit you in the first weeks, they will want to take you a gift and offer you their advice, in many occasions not requested, remember.

The first days at home with a newborn can become really chaotic, and sometimes visits don't help. But don't let the situation engulf you and set your own rules. Decide with your partner, whether or not you want to visit, thinking only of you and the well-being of your baby.

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What you decide must be respected; Whether you opt for surprise visits, as if you want them staggered or prefer privacy. For my part, I will understand you perfectly and respect your decision, and if someone gets upset (that is likely to happen), reread my previous advice.

4. "Ask for help when you need it"

Motherhood is a wonderful thing, but there are also hard and exhausting moments. You will spend sleepless nights, and days when forces fail and you feel unable to reach everything. You may also experience problems with breastfeeding, or feel guilty for wishing you had time for yourself.

If this happens I would like to tell you, my friend, that You are not the only one who has ever felt this way and that bad times are overcome with help. Look for it, raise your voice, don't shut up. We are many people who will be on the other side of the phone or the door ready to help you.

5. "Take care and pamper yourself: you deserve it"

You are in the final stretch of your pregnancy. You are exhausted, you sleep badly at night and you have enough discomfort. You think that when you give birth everything will return to normal, but I will tell you one thing: It's very easy to forget about yourself when your newborn arrives in the world, and that is something we should avoid.

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For nine months our body has undergone a profound change, so it is important to take care of yourself both physically and mentally, because "If mom is fine, the baby will be fine". In this sense, it is essential that you take time to get fit and pamper yourself, and if it seems impossible to do so, I will ask you to read the previous point again.

Lean on your tribe to get those minutes a day any mother needs, especially when it is first time and is in full postpartum. A relaxed shower, a massage or a coffee in the company of friends will make you feel luxurious, I assure you.

6. "Be proud of your body and love yourself"

Regardless of the type of delivery you have, and the stretch marks or kilos that may remain after pregnancy, Feel proud of your body for the immense work he has done in all this time!

The woman's body after being a mother is wonderful and perfect, although at first it may be difficult to look at yourself in the mirror and recognize yourself in it. But think that stretch marks, flaccid skin, and extra pounds are the most beautiful "scars" that any human being could have, as they constantly remind us the privilege we have had to have created life.

7. "Do not look at social networks"

And last but not least, I would tell you not to look at the motherhood that most people expose on social networks.

That "pink" maternity, sweetened and perfect, does not exist. It's not real ... or it is, but part of a coin where there is also another face that is not always shown: the face I was talking about in point four.

Therefore, do not always believe what you see and enjoy your motherhood without comparisons or expectations, because each mother and child is a world and as I have told you above: there is no better guide or teacher than our baby and our own instinct.

Photos | iStock, Pixabay