Spanish mothers are urged to perform a routine amniocentesis from the age of 35 or when other previous tests or family history indicate that the baby may have some chromosomal abnormality.
When a mother must decide whether or not to perform amniocentesis and consult me, the first thing I say is to remember that aminiocentesis does not cure anything, prevents nothingIt will simply give us fairly reliable data on whether the expected child has chromosomal problems, nothing more, because it also does not detect other problems that can also cause intellectual retardation or health problems.
An aminiocentesis is a hugely invasive test, which involves pricking a woman's gut with a long needle to take a sample of aminotic fluid. To minimize the risk of puncturing the baby, it is coordinated with an ultrasound. However, there are errors and risks.
Aminiocentesis It is done between week 12 and 16 normally and the results can take two or three weeks. It is a huge emotional burden, because, in addition to the uncertainty, the concern and the possible decision to abort, it makes mothers suffer and find it difficult to maintain joy and confidence, especially in regard to their connection with the baby .
Risks of aminiocentesis
General data indicates that there are risks in amniocentesis: a possibility among 200 that the aminiocentesis ends up triggering an unwanted abortion, therefore, the possibilities of chromosomal abnormalities and the decision that the mother will take should be confirmed if confirmed.
It is usually done routinely after the age of 35 because it is when the statistical possibilities of the child coming with chromosomal alterations are equal to that of abortion due to the test.
But neither prevents nor cures, it is simply used to discover if the child has Down or other alterations, putting on the scale that there is the same chance of losing it even if he has nothing.
Losing a baby from amniocentesis
Losing a desired and healthy baby due to amniocentesis It can be a huge pain, which I, the truth, would not face, of course, in my case, I would not perform the test since I would not abort a baby even if it came "wrong."
I would rather leave it to destiny, trust, to play to lose a desired child because of the same chances that I was not healthy chromosomally. But I think that everyone should value a lot, with all the data, the decision to make a test that involves dangers. If the chances of the fetus dying from the test are the same as having Down, I don't know if it's really worth doing, it's a very complicated thing to decide.
Personal experiences full of emotion
Anyway, I, if not born healthy for other reasons, whatever they are, would welcome and love the same, so I never thought it was worth knowing if I had chromosomal abnormalities Well, I wouldn't abort if they were confirmed.
That is the decision I made when I was waiting for my son. I decided not to do the test, since I was sure not to abort even if the child had Down or other alterations. Having decided this, I was less worth playing with amniocentésis.
I read a lot about how parents who have a child with these characteristics live and decided that my job would be, in that case, to take care that I had the necessary stimuli to reach their maximum potential and dedicate myself to leaving everything as tied as possible so that they would not The material or the emotional will be missing when I was gone.
However, my best friend, she encountered a real situation some time later. The blood tests already pointed to a high risk of Down. We even looked for other complementary tests that were performed in Spain, non-invasive, to approach the diagnosis.
Everything pointed to a baby with Down and serious problems in his heart, once the most complex ultrasound analysis was performed. They had decided not to go ahead if the amniocentésis confirmed it, but they wanted to have that security before making the decision of an abortion. An adult in his family suffered a severe mental retardation, and that had marked them. She was broken, she was still talking to her son although she didn't want him to be born if her life, she was convinced, would be suffering. I respected his decision and understood that it was, in his way of seeing things, something brave and full of pain.
Actually, to think of a baby that in order to survive has to suffer many operations terrifies me, especially if he is a child who is not supposed to have a chance of having a normal life. But, on the other hand, I knew mothers who have had children with unexpected Unexpected, children who have surpassed heart operations and who continue to grow happily in their families and achieve great achievements, are loved and are happy, although we cannot know what fate holds for them. And it is that destiny is something that none can know.
That little one was not born. Not by a diagnosis with amniocentesis, nor by the decision of his parents, but by natural causes, since his heart stopped beating. He has a name and a place in the family and today his mother still loves him even though he might have decided not to be born. And his father, who has passed away, surely takes care of him, at least, I feel that way.
I remember another mother, whom I don't know personally, but I've been reading Paideia in her blog for years and learning from her. She decided that his son was born, and accompanied him the few days he was in the world. I also felt very brave his decision and I was excited to think that such a short life could fill his family with love and receive so much love. I invite you to read his experience because he cannot leave anyone so helpless, something so full of beautiful and sad emotions.
The fear of having a child with problems
The main concern that mothers and fathers usually explain to me is not that their child is not healthy or does not have a normal intelligence, or that they doubt that they would love him, take care of him and give everything possible to have a life as happy and possible autonomy, but the fear that the child with a delay would live when they were missing and could no longer take good care of him.
Love orphans
This concern is even greater in those who have grown up with a relative affected by a syndrome, adult people who are hospitalized in centers for not being able to fend for themselves and greatly orphaned of love when their parents are missing. It is usually the fundamental reason why parents decide to do amniocentésis and perform an abortion if the diagnosis is confirmed. They live it with enormous pain and, in those cases, my accompaniment in the duel, although I do not intellectually share the decision, I offer it from the heart.
I get it. To think that a child who cannot take care of his life will be left alone without us is a terrible thing. I don't know if these people would change their lives, they would minimize the love they received as children, they would rather not have existed. I do not know, but I understand the pain of parents who provide for their child that helplessness and want to avoid that suffering if they do not have religious beliefs that prevent them from having an abortion.
However, when we talk about a son or brother who suffered a disabling illness or accident, they usually rethink everything. And it is that in matters so delicate and that have so much to do with love, nothing is white or black, nothing is certain, we cannot judge, and we only have the guidance of the heart to make a decision.
Amniocentesis does not cure
But it is a very delicate personal decision, both to perform the test and not to go ahead with a pregnancy, so, as I explained, I simply remind mothers that amniocentésis does not cure and that is a roulette in the hands of science we put the same chances of losing a baby without problems than having one with them.
