In the ecobebé blog a interview with Rosa Jové, child psychology expert and author of the book "Sleep without tears"
The author also chatted a few months ago with the readers of the newspaper El Mundo in a digital meeting where myths and doubts about children's sleep and its difficulties were cleared.
Both are very interesting since many parents have doubts about how and when is the best way to teach their children to sleep. I have reproduced the interview that will surely help those parents who have a small night owl at home. How is the dream of children ?, because it has nothing to do with that of adults ...
Children's sleep is very different from adult sleep and also that we will have when we are older. Childhood sleep is evolving from the moment it is born and even, also before because when they are in the mother's belly they also sleep although they have two phases. At the time of birth they have these two phases and as the months go by they acquire all the others. There comes a time when he has a dream quite similar to that of adults, but we will have to wait a while. Myths and false information circulate with very unrealistic expectations of what the child has to do very quickly. When a father compares these tables, that information that circulates with what his baby does and sees that it does not coincide is alarmed. Given this situation, one of our goals is to try to convey more truthful information to parents.
What are the main disorders of childhood sleep?
There are many sleep disorders and basically they are divided into parasomnias and dysomnias. Parasomnias are perhaps what people can see most, what is diagnosed most and would be nightmares, night terrors, sleepwalking ... But usually they are the smallest consultations in a sleep unit like ours. Most parents ask why their child has trouble falling asleep, wakes up at night, those little things. And what we do in sleepless tears is to attend to those parents.
When should parents worry?
When a child is young, parents should observe their evolution. Children often go to the pediatrician very often and this professional is helpful because it is who controls whether the child's evolution is normal. If the evolution is normal, one day or another that child will end up sleeping, they don't have to worry. Another thing is that parents want to have less work at night, want to sleep more (which is lawful) and then what can be done is to accelerate that process for parents. We are convinced that a child with a normal development, without any pathology will sleep perfectly.
But sometimes parents no longer know what to do ...
Parents try not to make mistakes, what they do sometimes is to follow fashions, to follow information that is not correct. What we are seeing lately is that many parents who use methods to train children by letting them cry. Behavioral methods are not bad: you can reward a child who goes to bed well, but the problem comes when they let themselves cry because we have observed that in some cases children have sequelae.
“Letting the child cry is not the solution”
Our position is that these methods should not be used even if they do not cause side effects to any child. Currently there are educational forms that if we used them with older people would be reportable. They are only used in animals and children. NO, the end does not justify the means and the child is a person and there are things that should not be used in any child, even if it does not cause side effects. What is the project sleep without tears? What we do is the project sleep without tears in which we first evaluate the child to verify that nothing happens, we also evaluate the family dynamics (parents as they live, schedules, routines ...) and try to adapt everything since it is a program very individualized
We say that it is a project because it is something that parents will begin to carry out gradually and will last what lasts. There are times that the changes in the first days are already very amazing and there are times that we need more time for those changes to occur. But the good thing we have as consideration is that children do not suffer, we have no side effects. About breastfeeding and colecho ...
Man is a mammal, and if we look at how the rest of mammals work, we see that they basically sleep together and breastfeed. Therefore, that is a form of upbringing that should continue in our species. It is not bad for a child to breastfeed and sleep with his parents, he will even favor other stages of his life.
We inform parents that this can be done, and not only that it can be done but that it is not bad that it be done; Another thing is for parents to decide other ways. In these cases, we have techniques for children who are breastfeeding as well as those who drink bottles, for children who sleep with their parents as those who do not because each family responds in a way and has a particular dynamic. Give your child time to sleep well
To parents who have children over three or four years old and who still wake up during the night, I want to tell them that this situation has to be about to end. We do not have any children who have trouble sleeping beyond five years if the parents have been respectful of him and have followed a normal evolution.
There is a cap around the five years when everything ends. Another thing is that those parents do not want to wait that time anymore and in that sense, we have our guide at the end of the book or our project that can help them accelerate that moment.
