'Child sexuality is necessary for the full development of the child', is one of the statements of psychologist Laura Perales in this entry aimed at prevention and recommendations on child sexual abuse.
However, the part of Laura's article that I am most interested in transmitting is not specific about child sexual abuse, which we have already talked about. These examples are worth mentioning that these abuses are hidden realities, or the guidelines to detect them.
Instead I want to emphasize the mention of the cultural and moral influence that sex shows as something dirty, 'a perversion, something that must be hidden and shut up'. This idea is not only unhealthy for the development of children, but it facilitates the perpetuation of abuse (because victims feel guilty and dirty, hiding what has happened). More or less consciously, we try to keep children away from sex (for not knowing how to deal with the issue), or we make them feel bad if they touch the genitals.
I understand that there is not always a clear intention on the part of the parents, but that the attitudes they respond rather to our own previous experiences, and to the ideas that have been transmitted to us. On the other hand, many times we are willing to give information, but we keep it away from emotions, so that children learn the 'secrets' of human conception, but they disconnect the sex from affectivity, and respect (for oneself and others).
Laura tells us that 'the child should touch if he wishes, because nothing bad happens if he does', our personal ghosts stay aside and we accept that when our daughter or our son touches the vulva or penis, they do it to get to know each other better, and also to obtain pleasant sensations. No need to go around, it is a healthy curiosity.
And also, as part of that experimentation, it is possible for two brothers to explore each other's genitals, nor will we be alarmed by that.
It is about experimentation and healthy curiosity, both in themselves and with other children, although it must be made clear that it should always be with children their age and when everyone wants to do it without forcing anyone. Those who eroticize these innocent and healthy situations are adults
That parents we feel limited to address the issue naturally (yes: the situation has changed since we were children), it is a reality. However, we have many reasons to do family sex education.
I would sincerely like you to reread Laura's article, because it is written to open our eyes, and it prepares us so that we parents have no difficulty in dealing with the issue in our homes.
What facilitates the occurrence of a situation of sexual abuse (and in general abuse of any kind) is an authoritative education through punishment, intimidation and power
Again, the objective of understand the subject as naturally as possible, since - among other things - with this we will have more tools with which to prevent child sexual abuse.
