"WE HAVE TO PLACE OURSELVES BEHIND OUR TEENAGE CHILDREN TO HELP THEM TAKE OFF," WE TALKED WITH JOSEP LóPEZ ROMERO

Undoubtedly The adolescence of our children is the most complicated time as parents. It is necessary to understand that for them it is also very difficult: the hormonal sway, the physical changes that do not give them time to assimilate, the indeterminacy of ideas that positions them on one side and a few days just on the contrary ...

What seems to be clear is that they have to act and think differently from their elders and take the opposite seems to be one of their favorite hobbies. They don't want to hear us!

That is why I loved Josep López Romero's idea of writing 'a legacy to his children', which may be useful when they decide that the time has come. Because he is clear that "The role of parents is to place themselves behind their children, because at their side they already have their friends".

I want to make it clear that this is my personal opinion, and that surely there are mothers who disagree with me because they have no confrontations with their children: there are, but unfortunately they are a lucky few.

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But if parents learn something, it is a time, that we had it for centuries (but also, even if it seems impossible) and that there will come a day when our adorable children come back through the door of the house and leave those strangers behind They locked themselves in their room and didn't speak to us if it wasn't to protest.

They must make their own mistakes

As a teenager, Josep López Romero knows, 'training journalist' and literary Coach, author of several personal growth books and, of course, father. Concerned about the education of their children, he began to write 'The little book for my teenage children' with the idea of leaving a legacy for Martí and Rita (who are now 18 and 14 years old) and became (as he claims without pretending to) "a kind of compass to be guided by the great adventure of life".

So he says that page by page he was reeling his opinion on the major issues that concern during adolescence (a stage that ensures more and more time is extended) and, therefore, also to the parents of these adolescents. Therefore, in the end, "It can be useful for those young people who are at the gates of adulthood and for their parents, who need a guide to understand them".

Thinking about Martí and Rita, she reflected on paper her reflections on love, the couple, the family, work, the meaning of life ... A kind of manual for our young people because:

"It seems they don't listen to us, but they simply need to find their reference in the world, their place, for themselves, even if that means making mistakes."

But Josep López is clear:

"They get a lot more things than we think and, when they become adults they look more like us than they like to recognize."

Therefore, he assures: "It is worth planting a seed in their lives to be picked when they need it."

Just do not expect your children (or any other teenager) to read the book completely but that "If you open the chapter that talks about love or friendship (or whatever), when you have questions about these issues (which will have them) and seek advice to manage them". And, surely their parents will not ask, because what will they know?

The vital experience of parents

Although in difficult adolescence they will not understand it, "The vital experience of a father is the best example and the best guide for a child". That is what this literary coach thinks, which also has the extra baggage of other books he has advised and many readings he has made on the subject.

"The conclusions I have reached are also the result of living with other people, of the learning and knowledge that I have acquired throughout my life."

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It draws attention to the vision he has about pain and suffering and with the tranquility that he faces on the subject, and that he tries to infect his children:

"We all experience pain, because we are all going to suffer losses at some point. What you need to know is to distinguish it from suffering, which is nothing more than recreating in that pain. Knowing how to differentiate them will help young people to face their fears" · .

But if we stay with something (I repeat, it is my personal opinion) it is with the idea that when adolescence arrives parents have to change the place where we have been placed so far:

"We no longer have to act as protectors with them, they no longer need us to be on top of them (something very typical of our nature). With this we do a weak favor, because we don't let them make their mistakes, live their experiences (trial-error) ".

We have to stand behind them to help them take off, to display their talents and their desire to live. "

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