The effort is a value that we must instill in our children since they are young, because None are born with the capacity for effort, work or sacrifice. Overprotecting them and giving them everything they ask to avoid problems or sufferings, will make them grow up thinking that things are easily achieved and without the need for effort. Nothing could be further from the truth.
The capacity for effort and sacrifice must develop day by day, turning behavior into habits and always trying to overcome a little more. Parents can help our children understand the value of effort, not only setting an example with our actions, but putting into practice a series of keys that we present below.
1) Find a motivation
The first thing we have to try is for the child to see and understand the reasons why it is worth the effort, because if there is no clear reason it will be more difficult for him to carry out a work based on the effort.
There are intrinsic reasons, which are those that encourage us to do something for the pleasure and interest of doing so. For example, studying to expand knowledge, to quench our curiosity, to overcome ourselves, to enjoy what we have learned ...
And there are also extrinsic motifs, which are those that refer to the reward that we will obtain for carrying out a certain task (although it does not necessarily have to be a material reward)
When it comes to striving to achieve something, very young children tend to move more for extrinsic reasons, but it’s important for parents to instill the courage to do things by vocation, promoting their self-esteem, responsibility and showing our pride in the work done.
2) Set realistic goals
The motivation is very good and is necessary when it comes to achieving a goal, but it is important that it be realistic and not demand from the child things that are above their means, since the only thing we will get in that case is frustration.
We can motivate them to they set goals of any kind and encourage them to fight to achieve them. Because if they feel committed to it and are able to address it, it will be much easier for them to strive for results.
In addition, parents must remain by their side, firm and demanding them meaningfully and without going over. Why a fair and positive demand It will generate greater involvement and effort, while a high level of demand and fear of possible negative consequences will surely have the opposite effect.
Over time this external requirement will end up becoming self-demanding and they will no longer need anyone to encourage them to always strive a little more, which will make them feel more confident, capable and independent.
3) Assess constancy and work
When carrying out a task that requires effort, it is important that the children get involved in it from beginning to end, and that they understand that all activity requires planning, work and perseverance.
So, and in line with the previous point, we can propose to the child small challenges or activities that, besides being easy to achieve, suppose for him a constancy and a prolonged effort in time, such as making a collection of stickers.
Our son must understand that he will complete the collection if he gets involved to get the cards: carrying an updated list of those that are missing, moving to try to change the repeated with other friends, being responsible for taking care of the material ...
4) Do not do things for them
On the other hand, it is important that our children know that We are at your side to help you when you need it, but without doing the work for them or paving the way to avoid difficulties.
No one is born knowing and children need a guide to accompany them during their learning, to motivate them and help them when necessary. But we cannot (nor should we) do things for them.
We have to start giving them responsibilities according to their age that force them to make an effort (for example, setting the table, picking up toys, tidying up their room ...). This will strengthen self-confidence and confidence, and will foster their independence and self-esteem.
But in addition to our role as guides, we must foster the critical thinking of our children and make their own decisions. In this way they will grow strong and confident, and before we imagine they will be able to do things for themselves.
5) Do not give up in the face of adversity
In most occasions things are not easily achieved: you have to fight for them, strive and not give up in the face of adversity. In this sense, failure should never be an impediment to abandon the task, much less the fear of failure.
Maybe in our eagerness to prevent our children from suffering, we can make the mistake of overprotecting them or paving the way for them not to run into difficulties. But doing this not only does not benefit them, but it can harm them in the future as they will grow up believing that in life things are easy to achieve.
Therefore, what parents should do when our children are presented with obstacles is to teach them to fight to overcome them, not to surrender to them and to learn that suffering and frustration are part of life. Properly managing these feelings will make them grow and mature emotionally, and face adversity with determination and will.
6) Praise your achievements
If the work has been done with effort it is important recognize the child and praise his achievementsBecause praise will raise your self-esteem, it will help you better understand what exactly we expect from it and will encourage you to continue striving in the future.
For example, when you pick up your room, let's praise this gesture by telling you how much we like you to have stored all the toys in your place when you finish playing.
7) Be your best model
As we always say, there is no better teaching for a child than the example of his parents, because our behaviors and way of proceeding on a daily basis, will end up being imitated unconsciously by our children.
But what can we do to show them the value of the effort ?:
Do not appeal to luck or destiny when we want to get something, but to our effort and perseverance.
Likewise, it is important to make our children understand that certain advertising messages such as "Learn English in three months and effortlessly!" They are not real, and things don't get that way. Unfortunately, we live in the culture of immediacy where effort, discipline or sacrifice have to be underestimated. Therefore, our messages must be very clear in this regard.
Do not leave half-done tasks nor abandon them before the first difficulty
Don't continually postpone things what we have to do, or make excuses not to face them
To dedicate time and effort to perform our tasks, and not do them in any way or in the shortest possible time in order to finish as soon as possible
Empathize with the work of others, and give value to the effort and dedication of other people
Don't give in to your whims, and teach them the importance of valuing money and what it costs to earn it
Be responsible for our actions and the consequences that these may have
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